Something Grimsical This Way Comes

The Marshmallow Spaceship

2009-09-30T13:04:00.005-04:00

Once upon a night time I walked in the park
I heard an owl hoot and a far off dog bark
I looked to the sky at the half eaten moon
And wished I was in a cartoon

A toon where the moon was a blueberry pie
And the clouds are all hung by strings in the sky
The rain would pour down like a candy typhoon
And we'd travel around by balloon

A marshmallow spaceship would take me aboard
And give me the ugliest human award
The aliens look like a chicken fillet
And they'd grow a fresh head everyday

They'd stick me and poke me and screw off my head
And switch out my brain for a loaf of white bread
They'd fill me with helium so I'd be lighter
And wash my clothes till they got tighter

I could float around in their no gravity room
Then mix alien potion and alien perfume
I'd travel deep space for four-hundred years
And bring everyone souvenirs

And when they would drop me back in the same park
I'd hear that owl hoot and that far off dog bark
The marshmallow spaceship, was it really true?
Oh well... let's sail on my lettuce canoe

This poem is brought to you by

The Mother Ship Button!

the leaf

2009-09-15T21:28:00.002-04:00

Down fell a leaf from the giant oak tree
Along with a hundred of his friends
He laid on the ground for a moment or two
And got captured in a camera's lens

The wind picked up from the passing of a car
The leaf and his friends blew away
Down the road he tumbled and flew
What a wonderfully, fun autumn day

He was set apart from his other leafy friends
Higher and higher he rose
He looked way down at the people on the ground
When will he return? Who knows?

He passed over the stores and the houses and fields
And places he never knew were there
He'd go up he'd go down he'd blow all around
He had so much fun in the air

Then he fell and was crushed by a boy in the park
And an ant came a long and asked him
"What one day would you relive again and again
Be it happy or wistful or grim?"

"The places I've seen in this one glorious day
I'd never have seen them confined
To the tree where I lived for my entire life
I might as well have been blind."

"So I tell you the truth, though how crazy it sounds
For I am but one tiny leaf
To relive one day for a thousand more years
I'd choose this one, though so tragic and brief."

This poem is brought to you by

The Totally Green Button!

the chubby little man

2009-09-05T21:32:00.001-04:00

On the top of a mountain, on the tippidy, toppidy point
Lived a chubby, little man who never liked to disappoint

He was going to fly a kite with himself as the tail
He would fly through the sky, he would soar, he would sail

The crowd gathered down at the foot of the hill
Some say that the man must be mentally ill

To try such a stunt without a chute or a net
If he lands in the river he would certainly get wet

So he breathed and he jumped and he soared for a while
He looked down at the crowd with a big, stupid smile

And as the kite ripped apart at a thousand feet high
The chubby, little man fell like a star from the sky

the bullet boy from turbuleen

2009-08-30T16:22:00.004-04:00

The bullet boy from Turbuleen
Brushed his teeth to make them clean

It took about a half-a-day
He brushed too much some people say

When he was done his teeth were gone
He cried until a light went on

A light above his head to show
That he could make teeth that were faux

"Faux teeth out of what?" he thought
He wondered till he was distraught

So he tied a bear trap to his head
Now he uses that to chew instead

the star boy

2009-08-28T20:15:00.003-04:00

A star boy came to Earth one night
To get a drink from the pond
He looked left and right and then beyond

A frog boy hopped right next to him
And looked him in the eye
And asked him why he fell from the sky

The star boy said he'd gotten parched
There's no water way up there
The frog burped like he didn't care

He flew back up to the galaxy
Where he was meant to stay
Maybe he'll come back on Saturday

five brown things

2009-06-07T10:43:00.010-04:00

And now, five of my favorite brown things...

5) Brown Dachshunds - Ever since we got Stevie I've fallen in love with Dachshunds of all colors. But brown ones remind me of our Stevie!

4) Halley Berry - Beautiful brown eyes, brown hair and as a bonus, brown skin! She's gotta be my favorite brown girl... It was actually a toss up between her and Aisha Tyler, but Halle's more popular ;-)

3) Count Chocula - Chocolate cereal for Goth kids! Since I was a friggen kid I've loved this stuff!! I just bought some at the store today and now I'm happy :D

2) Dark Chocolate - Dark, bitter chocolate is the best! 75% cacao is probably my favorite, although I've tasted higher. It just starts tasting like raw material after that :-\

1) Coffee and Cookies - I've been known to take too many coffee breaks with my wife. We'll go to Panera and get coffee and a big ol' chocolate chip cookie! This has got to be my favoritest brown thing ever!!

Well, that's it... and remember kids, NOBODY SAYS THE BROWN WORD!

Product of the day!

Poopsicles Button

creepy cute

2009-05-24T01:01:00.011-04:00

I think these deserve a "Grimsy" award. I'm not a girl nor do I crochet nor do I like stuffed things, but I think these little guys are awesome... some are actually bloody. Definitely need an honorable mention here! My favorite has got to be the grim reaper. Check 'em out at NeedleNoodles.com

OOOOH!..... REMEMBER TO BE A FAN AT FACEBOOK!!!

Product of the day!

The Skull Button

sugar sugar!

2009-05-16T23:52:00.008-04:00

We mope.
We sit.
We cry.
We laugh.
Thoughts enter.
Thoughts exit.
The table fills with food;
Life, sunshine, glory and hope forever shine down as we eat!

We mope.

Product of the day!

The Taste Bud Button

coffee

2009-05-10T01:38:00.008-04:00

I believe that everyone is entitled to take coffee's name in vain. I also believe that everyone is entitled to voice their own opinion. I ALSO believe that everyone is entitled to voice their opinion to the jerk that voiced their opinion about their opinion.

Product of the day!

Hey Jerk! Button

definition

2009-05-09T00:00:00.002-04:00

grimsical [grim-zi-kuhl] adj.: A dismal and gloomy yet fanciful impulse or idea.